Tuesday, August 29, 2006

That's A Bit More Like It!

So, I got home from the old slave pit today quite early; warmed up the computer, cracked open a (much reduced) cold one, and watched a repeat of Home Improvement on abc1 digital.

All in all, a good feeling.
Front door unlocked, but on the chain.
Suddenly I hear a crump, and go to look. The chain is fully stretched, so I look through the spy hole.
Nobody there.
Go out to look; the fire escape door is just swinging to.
Go on to the stairs; hear the next door up slam.
So.
My resident loony has tried to gain entry, for what purpose god only knew; there's a killer on the road, his head is squirming like a toad...

Anyway, this suits me fine.
Note I don't take the bait and get caught on the motherfucker's home floor.
No.
I ring the police-they aren't actually in the phone book due to endemic incompetence down at the phone company-using a number supplied by my local authority magazine.

They put me through.
This time the police are very interested.
They offer to send someone round to talk.
Great.
When they still weren't here by 8pm local, they rang me and apologised and asked how late they'd be welcome and if they couldn't make it what time tomorrow.

I get the feeling that I'm going to splash one very stupid bastard very soon.

6 comments:

Sky Captain said...

Well, they couldn't make it last night so I guess it'll be today;meanwhile the rock goes on, especially AC/DC,which the loony hates.
Oops.There he goes again.Bang!He's getting upset.
He was up all last night trying to keep me awake.
Probably thinks he can sleep when I'm at work.
But I will simply put my stereo on a random timer.

Sky Captain said...

All quiet on the Eastern Front-only place where the clouds are interesting;
meanwhile it is Thursday night and the plod still hasn't showed up.
I think I'll give them a friendly call on the public counter number.
After all, what's the point of owning a copy of 'Theyre Coming To Take Me Away Ha Ha',if you can't play it loudly while you're having somebody dragged off to a mental hospital screaming?

Lisa Turner said...

Perhaps you should move if possible.

Sky Captain said...

Oh, I'll move...I'll move-FOREVER!.

No,wait, say it again, I've got a good one now...

MapMaster said...

OK...

"Perhaps you should move if possible."

Sky Captain said...

I don't actually have a good one-that was just a Sideshow Bob quote, from the Witness Relocation episode.

Meanwhile, it could take years to get priority status for re-housing on the Council lists, and I can't possibly afford better private sector housing until I get a better job-and then I'll still want my cheap place so I can save the money for Canada.

Meanwhile I know the head of Leeds Council personally and professionally, so I'll put together a dossier and see if he can kick a few butts.

It isn't corruption.
It's the duty of every officer in war. And as a candidate in the election I was nearly an officer.