There are many variations on the basic abusive cough.
All variants are rooted in the presumption that it is 'okay' to feel superior to somebody else, which of course is the true root of the Holocaust.
But over here it is a little Holocaust, a coward's Holocaust where they don't actually murder anybody outright.
This is supposed to be 'civilised', giving them something else to feel superior about.
Very often, the 'cough' is a Gambler's Cough, whereby they try to sound big, tough and convincing, because they've just seen somebody slightly different and they are not sure whether they feel superior or not-but assert superiority 'just in case' they really aren't.
The victim is supposed to react with supine subservience(the lesson inculcated by a million 'coughs'), so that the loss of expression and the slump of the shoulders give sociological validation to the abuser's gamble, confirming the superiority he asserted-extra courage or extra strength of character or (especially) superior wit; if the victim tells the guy to 'Fuck Off', the reaction is one of shock, of fear, and incredibly,(this is the British bit) outrage!
Actually, if you do this once or twice in England, word goes around that you are some kind of undesirable loony!
And as for the 'superiority' of courage in choosing to imitate a cough, go figure.
Going beyond this, when they know that you would like to lash out and floor them,(and assuming that they are not a huge bully),and also knowing that the 'Law' would protect them
from this("miss,miss,he started it!")they just do it for hatred's sake.This type will sit and watch you, usually behind as usual, and cough every time your natural movements become too fluid for him to bear(because LIFE is their number 1 hate), or when you lift your glass, or drink your beer, or bite your hamburger.
One countermeasure is to enjoy the beer or the burger or the fish&chips excessively obviously; thus it is they who reach their limit, and I have quite often taken an amiable glance in their direction to see the result.
Usually it is naked hatred.
As for hiding yourself, this works when you are with people such as co-workers who know you well, but otherwise, forget it.
You can't hide.
We are the Living, and they are the Dying.
Nobody seems to talk about this massive and glaringly present subject-ever-and we all know who this silence protects.
1 comment:
Thank you for describing this pathetic (and pervasive) phenomenon so succinctly. A months ago, I resigned from my government job, after suffering several months of the 'abusive cough'. For some reason unbeknownst to me or to close colleagues, a few people in my department decided they wanted me out, and/or decided to vent their insecurity/frustration on me through the 'abusive cough' protocol. This took place whenever the perpetrators had the opportunity, though they took great care to cover their tracks from managers and other colleagues - cowards that they were. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, but I did my best to ignore it. In the end, though, it got the better of me, and I decided to go.
I’ve had the last laugh, however, as in a bizarre way, the cowards did me a favour. Privately, I'm not exactly a conformist in my thinking (which may or may not have something to do with what was happening), and was finding working for UK plc a pretty soul-destroying experience. I’m now taking time out to enjoy my new-found creativity and relative freedom and looking to start my own business doing something completely different. Were it not for the abusive cough protocol (which to me, speaks volumes about the nature of the organisation I was working for), I probably would not have had the guts to do this otherwise, or it might have taken me longer. Meanwhile, no doubt, they’re still behaving like rats in a sack.
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